You must learn to love yourself before you can truly love another. This is a phrase we have probably all heard at some point in time. While I do not agree with this statement, I do believe it is very important for us to learn to love ourselves. Loving yourself is a very hard thing to do. We beat ourselves up constantly. Whether we are complaining about our looks, our intelligence, our mental state…many of us put ourselves down daily. I know I’m guilty of it. “You’re so fat, you are SUCH an IDIOT, you are failing as a mother, you are
turning INTO your mother, You. Do. Not. Matter….”
These are all things I say or have said to myself. I have, what my therapist has described as acute anxiety disorder as well as depression. I do not say this to get pity or to make anyone think differently about me. I say this because 1. I want people to understand they are not alone and 2. I want to address this issue in a way that hopefully seeps in and helps some people.
I have deliberated on this issue a lot. I want to know why so many people are so abusive to themselves and sometimes even hate themselves. I find this to be such an overwhelmingly sad thing. We
do this to ourselves so regularly, we do not even realize we are doing it.
I would like everyone to take a moment to think of some of the common negative things they say to themselves. **give some time** Now I want you all to throw those negative things out of your mind! We state that love is the doctrine of this church, and yet, many of us have a lot of trouble loving ourselves. Hali Tsotetsi wrote an article titled, “12 Great Reasons to Love Yourself”. In this article, she lists the following reasons it is important to love yourself.
“1. Love yourself because there’s no one else who has your smile.
2. Love yourself because there’s no one else who has your laugh.
3. Love yourself because wishing to be someone else is a sentence of misery and exhaustion. Regardless of where you may go or what you do, you will be who you are for the rest of your life.
4. Love yourself because it isn’t up to others to love you; it’s a blessing when they do love you. When you love yourself, you allow yourself to let go of the expectation of others to do so.
5. Love yourself because you’ve been blessed with the skin you’re in, so wear it comfortably.
6. Love yourself because while people come in and out of your life, you will always remain.
7. Love yourself because life becomes easier when you work with what you have.
8. Love yourself because when you are loving toward yourself, you attract people who love you too.
9. Love yourself because, as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Hate is too great of a burden to bear.”
10. Love yourself because you’re an artwork of DNA.
11. Love yourself because your weaknesses are disguised as a journey, ready for you to explore.
12. Love yourself because once you accept who you are, you can focus your energy on other matters and people in your life.”
Now, I want to put a spin on what I asked you each to do a moment ago. I’d like you each to think of several things you love about yourself. **Give some time** I want anyone who is having trouble loving themselves to use these things as a building block. When you are down, first think of your list, then try to add as many things to it as you can. I know this may seem silly and it can be
extremely hard, but it can be an incredibly helpful tool.
Self-love also goes beyond treating yourself with kind words. Find time to do and enjoy the things you love. Do not force yourself to do things you do not want to (unless it is necessary of course). Get rid of toxic people and surround yourselves with positive ones. Read that book, go on that vacation, watch that movie…whatever you have been putting off because you are either too busy or do not have the will to do, do these things for yourself.
I leave you all with this quote, “you yourself, as much as anybody in the
entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha