Chalice Lighting (We will say)

At the opening of Unitarian Universalist worship services, many congregations light a flame inside a chalice. This flaming chalice has become a well-known symbol of our denomination. It unites our members in worship and symbolizes the spirit of our work.

Chalice Lighting Responsive Reading by Charles A. Howe (Congregation will Read)

We light this chalice to affirm that new light is ever waiting to break through to enlighten our ways: That new truth is ever waiting to break through to illumine our minds And that new love is ever waiting to break through to warm our hearts. May we be open to this light, and to the rich possibilities that it brings us.

Dwight Brown Leadership Experience – William R. Murray

These are the days that have been given to us; let us rejoice and be glad in them. These are the days of our lives; let us live them in joy and service. These are the days of mystery and wonder; let us cherish and celebrate them in gratitude together. These are the days that have been given to us; let us make them stories worth telling to those who come after us.

Carol and I have been asked to condense 6 intense days into a 20 minute summary, which has required “wicked editing” on our part. We will only be able to barley skim the surface of the “Experience,” but we’d be pleased to provide more in depth information at any time. We hope to share and implement our learnings in the future. I personally want to thank you for the opportunity to attend. It was a true privilege.

What is the Dwight Brown Leadership Experience? And who is Dwight Brown?

DBLE, as we refer to the Dwight Brown Leadership Experience, is a leadership development school designed to enrich the lives of not only us, Carol and I who were participants, but you as well, as the sponsoring UU congregation.  Named after Dwight Brown, the District Executive who helped launch the first Leadership School, DBLE teaches and reinforces skills and abilities for leaders and leaders-to-be in UU congregations.  DBLE is offered as a Leadership School each summer as a 6-day, intensive program.

On a personal note, this was invaluable training for me not only as an up-and-coming leader of our congregation, but also as a professional. The tools used were ones I had already learned but had let “slip” in recent years; DBLE served as a great reminder! Although my first official day with Heifer International is tomorrow, I’ve already been meeting and working with them…and my polished leadership skills have already wowed them! And, as a board member of a national non-profit, I’ve already implemented my learnings.

The benefits to attending the training are far reaching. The purpose of DBLE was not for us (Carol and me) to have a good time, but for us to make a difference in our congregation, the UU Church of Hot Springs. There was much that was learned, much spiritual growth, and many, many new friends and partners in leadership were made.

The first business at hand was that the faculty, staff and participants, all 70 of us, had to sign a covenant to pledge to one another our willingness:

• TO PARTICIPATE: To be on time, prepared and fully present, To attend all sessions, To contribute in small groups,
• TO SHOW RESPECT, To abide by all rules and policies, To speak carefully, To listen in silence from the heart, To respect each others’ privacy, confidences and personal boundaries, To express compliments, complaints and concerns directly to the person or persons involved in a timely manner,
• TO BE OPEN, To welcome new insights, To embrace growth and change, To share our authentic selves, To deepen our faith

THUS DO WE COVENANT WITH EACH OTHER

Each day consisted of: 30 minute Worship Service, a 1 ½ hour lecture series on The Healthy Congregation, a 1 hour 45 minute Congregational Foundations Group (Small group of people from similar sized congregations) (Carol may want to share these details)

Case studies of similar sized churches were discussed each day. The purpose was not to solve the case, but to learn to work as a group. Each day, different persons were assigned as: Chair, Time keeper, Recorder, Process Observer, Reporter.

2 hour 45 minute lecture series of The Art of Religious Leadership

1 hour Experimental Spiritual Practices (self selected)

1 ½ hour Chalice Circles (randomly chosen, pre-selected groups of seven participants) This was my favorite session, although they occurred from 8:15 – 9:45 pm at the end of the day.

The entire week was based on the “Five Smooth Stones of Congregational Life” upon which we build our faith. It comes from an essay by James Luther Adams entitled, Guiding Principles for a Free Faith from On Being Human Religiously. Hope: Revelation is open and continuous Love: Relationships are consensual, never coerced Courage: Obligation to work toward a just and loving community Good things are brought about by hard work Justice: We deny the immaculate conception of virtue Responsibility Joy: Resources, both human and divine, are available to us to help us achieve meaningful changes and this is a reason for ultimate joy.

We began by studying our history from the Cambridge Platform of 1648. Within the Unitarian Universalist Association, there is no larger institution than the individual congregation. Unitarian Universalist congregations are covenantal, not creedal faith communities. Our ancestors were the Congregational Puritans who founded such universities as Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth and Amherst.

Polity You’re not the boss of me – there is no higher authority We are all in this together, people of the Covenant, to work for a just and loving world The wonderful material used to build a house is not a house.

Covenant We define ourselves, we practice the faith in community We agree to come together and support one another We are more together than we are apart By our works shall they know us We call ourselves and one another back to our best selves and to the holy work Leadership Roles Elders – The keepers of the spiritual table often becoming the teaching or preaching elder – The intangible Deacons – The keepers of the physical table – The tangible

We have become congregations of individuals who understand their role as Deacon, but do not understand our role as Elder? So the question becomes, who teaches our faith?

To remind you of our governance: There are five Regions of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) with nineteen Districts in North America. The mission of the UUA Districts is to serve as a resource for local congregations and to help extend Unitarian Universalist influence in the larger community.

The Southern or Southland Region is comprised of the Southwest, Mid-South, Florida and Southeast Districts.

• The district field staff foster the spiritual and institutional health of Unitarian Universalism by serving as leaders, consultants, advocates, and educators in our community of congregations.
• The District Executive serves as the UUA\’s local presence and is the first person to contact about UUA services and our relationship to the Association. Program Consultants, who are employed in most Districts, serve the District in particular program areas based on local priorities.
• The District staff perform direct service to UUA congregations, including consultations on a wide variety of congregational issues such as long-range planning and organizational development, ministerial transitions, leadership training, and conflict management.
• There are 78 UU congregations in the Southwest District. As an output of a Southern Region meeting in December, 2011, an Orlando Platform was released in January 2011.

In it, the region acknowledged that: Our faith is at a cross-roads, not growing and has little influence We need to re-affirm the Cambridge Platform of 1648 that congregations cooperate and be accountable to one another The UUA as a whole has more visitors than any other church; however, we convert those visitors to members less than any other church. We have as many visitors as we have members, but, overall growth within the UUA is at about 1%.

The number one reason people join is that they’re invited to do so. The way to speak to prospective members is through testimony – how has being a UU changed your life. As we enter this critical time of urgency for our local church and the UUA, I would like to ask, what does membership mean to you?

There are 4 types of UU Churches based on membership numbers:

• Family Church – (Delegating) Everyone knows their role and does it. (UUCHS) 0-50
• Pastoral Church – (Participating) Focus on relating through the pastor, 50-150
• Program Church – (Selling) Relationship through programs drives activity, 150-350
• Corporate Church – (Telling) Highly structured, mass communication, 350+

As a family church with fewer than 50 members, the UUCHS was the smallest congregation represented at DBLE. There must be 35 members to qualify as a church, and with recent relocations and departures, we’re on the cusp of not being able to be classified as a church.

Think of this analogy… If we were part of a large bank, the UUCHS would be a tiny, satellite branch with only two tellers. Our branch would have limited communication with the District or Regional offices, and almost none with the Corporate Headquarters. Because of our being so small, the larger bank branches basically wouldn’t much notice us. For example, the Unitarian Universalist Church of Little Rock recently hosted a speaker and promoted that speaker throughout Little Rock. The leadership never thought of inviting our congregation to attend.

The UUA has adopted the theory of Small Groups as Complex Systems as it relates to our congregations. By that, I mean that the group consists of interdependent, diverse entities, and we assume that those entities adapt — that they respond to their local and global environments.

A system is complex if it meets four qualifications: diversity, connection, interdependence, and adaptation. Congregations are human emotional systems. A theory of wholeness, interdependence, and that we’re all in this together. Systems get the results they are designed to get – the system wins, always. Once in place, the system will change its members more than the members can change the system. For example: How can we be hospitable to strangers without driving them away?

Emotional systems are a balance of two forces: togetherness versus self. The “Me” vs “We” is a lifelong balancing act. Anxiety is a function of our need to be self in a relationship – our fear of approval or rejection… our concern for group harmony versus personal fulfillment. In this system, think of the acronym SHIFT: Self Differentiated Leader Homeostasis Family Field Identified Patient Triangulation Self-Differentiated Leader

A self-differentiated Leader leads with presence and functioning, not technique and data, is calm around anxiety, unflappable, keeps their cool, understands the deepest principle, understands why It’s not about what is accomplished, but how it’s accomplished. A leader will be more remembered for how she/he leads rather than what they accomplish.

Regarding leaders: It’s not about you, and it’s all about you. Self-differentiated leaders save their own souls: Who am I? To whom am I accountable? Whose am I?

If the leader can hold their own their own during conflict and change, the system will adapt. Leaders must have capacity for people to be upset with what they do. Leaders must have the ability to function freely in pursuit of transcendental life goals while remaining connected to others.

Homeostasis The way things are, have been, and need to be… Change creates conflict, change is scary, but Change is what leaders do!

Family Field: The “birth order” of the members. The first born is bossy, The middle child is accommodating, and The youngest is cute and spoiled.

Identified Patient: The group, person or issue that is the focal point: “If only that (whoever or whatever that is) would go away, everything would be fine!”

Triangulation, Emotional triangles: Getting triangulated means getting stuck in others’ problems. Sabatours are on the boat with you. Sabotage means that leaders are doing their job.

Leaders will always be criticized. Leadership is the ability to influence the cooperative actions of others toward a shared purpose, functioning in pursuit of transcendental life goals. There needs to be permeable but balanced boundaries in an organized structure; too much closeness or fused boundaries create anxiety .

Leaders must be responsive, intentional and thoughtful. They must have a breadth of understanding, but must allow time for things to process. As leaders, we need to open up possibility that change can happen. We need to know when to lead.

We’re in the system, but not controlled by the system. People need to lean into ideas and leaders need to respect others’ struggles. For elected leaders, the congregation must show love and covenantal behavior. Every leader is going to screw up.

There was discussion about Stewardship, but I will not cover at this time, except to say that people do not give to budgets, they give to missions that are based on our values. Make sure all involved know what we want to accomplish and engage them in our excitement. Just know that the congregation will be working on our Values-Based Mission Statement beginning next year.

We as UUs can tell people what we’re not, but struggle describing what we are! If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.